[opening theme music]
Would somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Right on!
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovy A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here comes the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle had♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails♪
♪ Get off my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
♪ Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats!♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Three, two, one♪
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja crows♪
♪ As soon as someone finds The script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] This is little Tokyo.
A Hometown, like your hometown.
That is if your hometown is populated by flying ducks,
talking hippos and other cartoon characters.
Little Tokyo, a city of contrasts.
Where incomes are high, cholesterol levels are low,
everyone gets cable TV.
And yet a place where quaint street
vendors are still a common sight.
Little Tokyo where the old meets the new.
[street vendor] Fresh natural video tape players!
Come and get 'em while they're hot!
[narrator] Little Tokyo,
home of the national Tai-Chi Mahjong champions.
the world's third largest ball of twine and of course,
the Samurai Pizza Cats Pizza parlor.
Where you'll find the greatest heroes on earth,
the customers.
Hey Lady?
You serve shrimps lady?
Do we serve shrimps? Of course we do.
Sure. It doesn't matter to us how short you are.
[Speedy] Watch out hot stuff coming through!
So what,
gotta eat your greens, don't ya? [telephone ringing]
Pizza Cats pizza!
Home of the hot and spicy Samurai sensation!
You got it! Get up the cash and we'll be there in a flash.
Hey Speedy.
Yeah here I am.
One tuna and liver meatball pizza for Lucille.
And make sure it gets there hot.
[Speedy laughing] Lucille?
How can you make the delivery when you're flatten your bag?
I better take this one. Yeah! [laughing]
Hey, that's my pie! [grunts]
Can you believe those two guys getting all starry eyed,
over a girl like Lucille?
Tomcats, you can't live with them
and you can't throw them down a well and drown them.
There really ought to be a law.
I'd like to place an order if I may.
-We're busy. -Yeah.
[Polly screaming] You man are all the same,
you think we're slaves or something?
I've had it with all of you!
[narrator] Meanwhile, trouble lurks on the rooftops.
Where the ugly named Bad Bird spies on the unsuspecting mess.
[Bad Bird laughing] Look at them down there.
The puny little things.
They look like earth worms just waiting
for the early bird to arrive.
All this baloney it's vile and there are laws
against profaned pizzas.
Too bad there's never a cop around when you need one.
[Speedy grunting]
What a looser. [laughs]
-[Guido screams] Hey! -What goes around comes around.
-[Speedy] So long! -[Guido] Stop! That's my order.
[happy music]
-[Speedy grunts] -[Guido laughs]
-Farewell fur ball. -Damn. [grunts]
Looks like that poor smuck's finally given up the chase.
Hey, what's going on?
[Speedy humming]
[Speedy screaming]
[Guido screams]
[Guido screaming and grunting]
It's been fun but I gotta run!
What's with the violence?
I got a clause in my contract
says I don't have to do this drastic stuff!
Hey! Somebody get my agent on the phone right now.
[narrator] Moments later at Lucille's tea house.
Well, my, my! Look what the cat dragged in.
Darn, I'd do anything for you, Lucille.
To other people you may just be
a hand painted animated character
but you mean a lot more than that to me.
Thank you.
-[Lucille sighs] You? -Yeah. I figure you deserve
the best Lucille. [chuckles]
You see to me a pizza without a flower...
Oh, my.
...is like a game of squash without a shower.
Please accept this hot steamy pie
as a hot token of an undying love.
-Guido. -[Guido clears throat]
There once was a beauty named Lucille.
Who's pretty puss can make a pussy cat real.
Her lovers would sad, to the heavens they'd cry--
-[Speedy] Hey, what's going on? -[Guido gasps]
[Speedy mumbling]
Oh! Jealousy raises its ugly head, I see.
I'm getting tired of being an underground sensation.
[Guido screams and grunts]
Listen you buddies,
if you think I'm going to split the tip on this delivery,
you're out of your mind.
[Guido grunts] I get a tip for you Speedy
when you've got what Lucille and I've got,
money doesn't really matter.
[Speedy] What are you talking about?
Well, I mean gosh
If you really want me to spell it out it's called love, man.
[Speedy] Love? My foot.
[Lucille screaming]
-[Speedy screams] -[Speedy grunting]
You know what they say Guido,
[Speedy] Two is company and three is a crowd!
[Guido groaning]
We'll now I've seen everything.
As if the one destruction
of the Brazilian rain forest wouldn't enough for you,
you're the most environmentally
irresponsible person I've ever met.
Save that pink old pathologic stuff
for the next Green Peace newsletter.
Who's a pink on you knee old fashions, feel huh?
[Guido grunting] [loud explosion]
Stop talking politics. [screams]
-[Guido] Broken out! -[Speedy screams]
[narrator] Well it's often been said that falling in love
can be a mind blowing experience.
[Bad Bird] Playtime is over Pizza Cats.
It's time to let the real fireworks begin.
[loud explosion]
[Speedy] Wow! What an incredible special effect.
It's covering everything.
-Do we leave the oven on again? -Oh dear.
[narrator] According this ominous dark cloud
mean lights out for Little Tokyo.
Scary! Never seen anything like it.
Ever look in a mirror?
-Hey! Up there, look. -[Speedy and Guido gasp]
[narrator] It's not polite to point but Lucille
forget her manners for a moment,
because looming up ahead are the glowing eyes,
of the most hideous creature our animators could draw.
Well, let's put it this way, it's not bad.
[dramatic music]
[loud explosion]
[people screaming]
[narrator] An entire city block
is flattened in a blink of an eye,
including a retirement home for aging ninja turtles.
[turtle screams]
[abrupt sound]
[people screaming]
-Oh Boy! -We're next!
[narrator] The speechless Speedy
suddenly spots the serpent sinister secret.
[Speedy and Guido screaming]
[dramatic music continues]
Darn. What happened to my pizza?
The ninja crows are flying that thing.
Oh my gosh!
So they're up to their old tricks again, huh?
Yeah! We've gotta find a way of stopping 'em.
[Lucille] Does this mean I don't get my pizza?
[narrator] At Little Tokyo city hall
the representatives of the business community meet,
in an emergency session to discuss the recent raids
of deadly dragon attacks.
Listen gentlemen these unexplained attacks
or damaging the economy and freighting shoppers
out of their minds.
We've got to do something quickly.
We've got to have the courage to take the bull
by the tail and face the situation.
Oh no. Your sales may be suffering Big Cheese,
but frankly I've got a new line of steel reinforced umbrellas
that are selling like hot cakes.
And now that folks are spending
their days fleeing for their lives,
there's been an incredible rush on running shoes.
I've got two hundred pairs on back order.
This city is being destroyed, and all your shop keepers can
think of is profits? Think of the big picture.
Sales of wide screen TV's are down.
[Big Cheese grunts] Enough talk, now is the time to act tonight.
Just happen to have a plan that will rid our city
of this lunatic lizard forever.
[Al Dente] He's right!
I don't agree with a rodent very often,
but this time he's right.
[all mumbling]
We've got to act now and there's only one way to stop
that dragon for wreaking Little Tokyo.
Yeah, offer a big fat bribe.
No, there's a much better way than that.
Well of course there's another way,
We can elect the dragon vice president
that way we'll never hear from him again.
[Al Dente grunts]
We need someone who stand up for this monster.
-We need Samurai. -[Big Cheese] What?
We need the Pizza Cats.
[Big Cheese] You need your head examined
that's what you need.
-[Al Dente] We can try them. -But those good for nothing.
-free pattern free light. -The only hope we have rodent.
[Princess Vi] You know the best thing
about the Samurai Pizza Cats?
No, tell us Princess Vi.
They deliver!
[all grunting]
[narrator] Not wasting a moment,
Big Al Dente makes the decision to call for help.
I'll ask the cats for a dragon to go and step on its head
they can jump all over it.
[narrator] Meanwhile in a nearby Pagoda,
the Big Cheese reveals his evil treachery.
This could be bad,
I've invest a lot of money in save old treachery
and they can ruin everything.
I doubt it master.
Don't go getting your whisker and twister,
Samurai Pizza Cats haven't got a chance
against our mighty mechanical dragon. Right?
-[Jerry Atric] Right! -[Bad Bird indistinct]
That dragons is packed
with Ninja crows hungry for a fight.
In fact they're just plain hungry
they wanna know when lunch is.
Forget about lunch.
Tell them they all get extra rations of bird seeds
once they defeat the Pizza Cats,
and finish terrorizing the merchants
of Little Tokyo into submission.
If they can defeat the Pizza Cats,
the business community will probably pay you
an even bigger bribe than you ever expected.
To think just a minute ago I was for a raid.
I feel much better now.
Amazing how we lift a profit in southern centurion,
with right ups in it.
[Jerry and Big Cheese laughing]
[narrator] But there is no joy in the streets of Little Tokyo.
Where once again the day grows dim with doom.
And once again the dreaded dragon descends to dance,
its demented dance of death and destruction.
[Bad Bird laughing]
This is more fun than pitching water bombs in a drowning man.
[loud explosion] [people screaming]
[crowd screaming]
[telephone ringing]
Samurai Pizza Cats pizza's our middle name.
Gee, what a bummer we'll get right on it.
Hey guys that was big Al Dente calling.
This dragon is getting out of hand.
Then come on, it's time to rock it and roll.
[Al Dente] Maybe I should've ordered something.
Angel hair pasta or a salad.
[Francine] I love this job
it reminds me of piano lessons.
in the way schwarz make me practice kittens on the keyboard
'till I got it right.
[Francine] It's launch time folks!
[theme music]
[narrator] The Samurai Pizza Cats leap into action.
Polly Ester, Guido Anchovy and Speedy Cerviche!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need 'em just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do what they say♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time Stay out of their way!♪
♪ Oh I love those cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes Who always wear fur♪
[Francine] All systems go,
wind speed and trajectory look good
and our biorhythms couldn't be better.
Stand by.
[theme music continues]
[Francine] Attention citizens of Little Tokyo.
They're off on a mission to save the whole city.
Quite an achievement if you are a kitty.
Kaboom!
[gunshots]
Look, there goes those stupid Pizza Cats
floating in the atmosphere again.
Good grief, as if they weren't bad
enough dodging pigeons.
[narrator] Meanwhile as our high-flying heroes raced
to the scene a mechanical dragon's orgy
of destruction continues!
[Bad Bird evil laughs]
Go ahead make my day.
[Speedy] Worm-breath!
Who said that?
[Speedy] Three guesses brake brain.
[Guido] We'll give ya a hint.
We're the stars of this cartoon.
You guys. Well you're too late this time.
[Polly] We spoke to the producer!
There's plenty of time left in the episode.
What? Now they tell me.
Sorry Chicken Licken when the going gets tough
I like to play rough.
I'm Guido Anchovy.
And I've got no match when it's time to scratch.
You can call me Polly Esther.
Love ya!
I'm the only cat in this show who doesn't know how to rhyme.
Speedy Cerviche at your service.
Samurai Pizza Cats!
Holy hambone!
I haven't seen such a cheap theatrical entrance
since Junior High School drama class.
Only there the costumes were better.
Kill them dragon!
[dragon roaring]
-[Speedy grunts] -[Guido and Polly grunting]
[energetic music]
[Speedy grunting]
Hey Guido, I'm in the mood
for a little fried chicken, what do you say?
Okay! You got it.
[narrator] The Samurai Sunspot Umbrella.
When Guido fires it up,
you know the Pizza Cats are really cooking.
That pun was horrible.
[crows grunting and moaning]
[crows groaning]
Man, I've heard of turning up the heat on crime
but this really bakes the cake.
If you're taking orders Guido I like my bird
-a little crispy on the outside. -Yeah but watch out
for heartburn.
[crows screaming]
Stop squawking and get them you cowards,
it's not the heat it's the humidity.
[crows cawing]
[Speedy and Guido grunting]
[Speedy grunting]
Now it's time for the claws that refreshes.
Come and get it love birds!
-[crows screaming] -[Polly growling]
Hey yard birds, remember the 60's?
[crows groaning]
-Hey, a light show. -Cover up man.
There's just one iron butterfly chicken left.
-You gotta fight for it. -Huh?
[crows grunting and mumbling]
I know, sometimes everything look so easy
it embarrasses even me.
Not so fast my fine furry fake. I still have the dragon legs.
-Attack! -[Speedy] Dragon legs, huh?
You better see a doctor about that.
[narrator] Speedy!
like a foot surgeon by calling on the mystical powers
of the magical Ginsu sword.
Carefully withdrawing
the patented self-sharpening blade
from its sheath, he's ready for action.
He's ready for danger.
He's ready to accept the coveted Emmy award.
for the best stupid pet trick.
Wielding his blade like a surgeon's scalpel
he lets out the inspiring cry.
It's time to-- [screams]
[Bad Bird grunts] You miss your little--
[Bad Bird grunts]
[Bad Bird grunting] What a mess.
Well, you gonna have to clean it up.
Come on, time to do our pose guys.
[Guido and Polly] Ta-da!
[narrator] Back at the Big Cheese's
elegant red hall.
No, I won't lose my temper. I won't.
I got to stay in control, stay in control.
Great master,
try to channel that negative energy.
[Big Cheese screams] [loud explosion]
[Jerry Atric grunts]
I knew you could do it.
[Big Cheese grunts]
[narrator] With peace once again restored at little Tokyo,
we bid our fan farewell to the Samurai Pizza Cats.
That cats who always land on their feet.
[Speedy chuckles]
[Speedy screaming]
[narrator] Yeah!
On the next...
Pizza Cats!
[narrator] Those pizza pushing pussy cats get indigestion.
[Speedy grunting]
[narrator] When the Big Cheese
unleashes his sushi-making monster
and gives the people of Little Tokyo
- an order the go. -[hippo screams]
Oh!
-See you later, I'm outta here. -[Lucille screams]
[narrator] There's danger on the menu.
Someone said lunch?
But I'm allergic to soy sauce and rice makes me sneeze.
[Guido sneezes]
Somebody get me out of here.
[narrator] There's love in the air.
[Polly growls]
[narrator] There's pigs on the pizza parlor
and there's antic action that will blow your mind.
[Speedy groans]
[narrator] Keep a firm grip on your Ginsu sword
just fast food has never been so furious.
[Bad Bird cawing]
On the next Samurai Pizza Cats!
[narrator] That cats who always land on their feet.
Ladies and gentleman the Samurai Pizza Cats
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like furballs in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed, we never call retreat.
[Guido] Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down.
We land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh Pizza Cat
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink
you know you'll fight like...
Pizza Cats!
[closing theme song]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you Liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Oh gosh.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight.♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪